Chapters 10-12


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Akul returns to his people

The diary of Akul, the boy of the Abenaki people.

PART TWO


(10) THE DREAM

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      May 29, 1714

I DID'NT hear why Mapache said I must return home. I only heard the words that we were going home, leaving this unkind wilderness and my strange dream behind! I missed my parents and friends, but most of all I missed my sister, Chenoa. She lived as easily as a flower turning to the light. 

     It was hard to remember the first five months in the wilderness. It was only the awful dream that felt real—like when you get up in the morning and feel like you are still in your dream from the night before and not in your own room with your cat beside you. I told Mapache my dream and asked her to explain it. Indians believe that if you don’t learn anything from a dream, you’ll dream it again until you learn its lesson. I understood a lot of what Mapache said, but the most important parts I didn’t understand. Finally, when she saw that I could not listen any longer (like a pot that is full of water), she went off to catch a fish for our dinner and asked me to think about what she told me:

     “Most of your life, Akul, will be like a dream,” she began. “You will think it is real until you wake up.”

     “But I don’t want to spend my life dreaming, Mapache!  I want to live!” 

     “That is very hard to do. Most people live in a dream. If you do not want to live in a dream you must know how a dream starts.  What started your dream?” 

     “Well, I was worried about you and went to find you. I got lost in the woods and had to spend the night here and began to dream.  .  .” 

     “That is not true, Akul. That is a lie and you know it!” 

     I turned red. It was not the truth.  “I was tired of waiting for you, Mapache . . . I didn’t want to wait any longer.” 

     “But you told yourself that you were worried about me.  And so, when you lied to yourself, the dream began.” 

     “But if that is true, if it all started with a lie . . .” 

     “Not just any lie, Akul, but a lie you told yourself!” 

     “O.K., O.K. If the dream started by lying to myself, why did it start out so beautifully?” 

     “The beauty of the dream made you want to sleep. But then, when the other things came— the bear, Hrushenn and the Blue Whale—you were already in a deep sleep and could not wake yourself up. But, Akul, those things were not enemies! They came to teach you.”   

     “To teach me?!  They all wanted to kill me!” 

     “The most important things in life are taught to us by our enemies. Drinking tea with your friends makes you fat and lazy, Akul. The most important things in life are learned by wrestling [struggling, fighting] with ourselves. The fight is not with others. It is with ourselves and how we react to them. 

     “You were sent into the wilderness to learn who you are. You will never learn anything about yourself without a struggle. But this is not the most important thing. The most important thing to understand is this:  The times when you are alone—those are the times you will learn the most important things. And someday you will know who taught you. The White Man does not know this. The White Man believes that learning is in his own head! But they are fools.” 

     This was the second time Mapache used the words the “White Man”.  Who was she talking about? Who was the White Man?  After this, she had gone off to catch a fish. I laid back on a soft bed of pine needles and turned on my side to look at the lake. It was then that I spotted [saw] a little stone lying in the dirt.  It was in the perfect shape of a heart.  “It must be a sign,” I said to myself. “It is so perfect and smooth.” I quietly thanked the Great Spirit for the sign, put the little stone in the bag on my belt and fell asleep. Tomorrow I would be home.

     ***                  


   

(11) RETURN HOME 

      May 30, 1714

Mahican

Mahican


fawn

SOMETHING was not right in the woods the next morning, but I could not tell what it was. It was too quiet. It is never silent in the morning unless an enemy is near. Two winters before we made peace with the Blackfoot tribe and Mahicans. We had no enemies except the Iroquois [EAR-o-kwoi] and they were now far away fighting for land in Ohio. Still, we saw only one doe [baby deer] the whole morning. No foxes, no bears, no moose. Mapache walked very slowly and said nothing to me the whole morning. Then, to my shock she suddenly said, “We will wait here until one hand before sunset. We will travel the rest of the way under the moon light. If we are lucky, you will see your family in the morning.” We had walked no more than twenty bow shots that morning! [A bow shot is how far an arrow can fly. An arrow can fly about 400 yards (365 meters).  Twenty bow shots would be about four and a half miles (7 kilometers).]

      When I began to talk about wanting to hurry to see my family and friends, she seemed not to listen. Her eyes were so sad. I started to ask her what was wrong but before I could she said,  

     “Akul, if you remember nothing else from me, remember that your only enemy is fear. Your enemy is not the White Man! To be saved from the White Man, you must learn to overcome your fear and his!”   

     “Mapache, saved from who?!” 

     But Mapache did not answer.

   ***


(12) THE THIRD DAY 

      June 1, 1714

public domain

Photo: public domain.


WE reached the shore of our lake at sunrise on the next day. We were on the southeast side of the lake. The air was full of bird song. On the far shore two moose were resting in the long sweet grass. A flock of geese flew overhead and then came down near the shore of Rattlesnake Island.  In less than two hours we would be home! I was so happy I almost cried.  Soon I would see my family and eat my mother’s good food. I would tell my friends all that happened to me. But most of all, I was happy because I hadn’t destroyed the lake. It was only a terrible dream! But, as if Mapache could read my thoughts, she suddenly said, “What is real can never be destroyed, Akul. You must remember this if you want to help your people. Your fight will be to save what is real.”

     Before I could ask her why she kept talking about fighting she said, “We will wait here until sunset and then you will see your village! I will go catch a fish for our breakfast.  Sit here and wait, Akul!  Do not take one step away from these long grasses. Not one step!”  

     Her voice was so firm that I knew I must not say anything. But why should we eat here when, in two hours, we could be home and eating my mother’s food? But there was nothing I could do to change Mapache’s mind. I laid down in the grass to wait for her. I fell into a deep sleep and did not even hear her return.  It was noon when I woke up.  Mapache was sitting next to me, waiting.  “It is good that you slept so long,” she said quietly.  “Today will be a very long day.” And them, as soon as we finished eating she told me a story that would change my life forever:

     “You asked me yesterday to tell you what a white man is. The White Man is a tribe that is like a very little child. I do not mean his body is small. The White Man’s body is bigger and stronger than your body. But he lives like a child: taking what he wants, doing what he wants and not thinking about what he is doing to others. His skin is not like yours. His skin is as white as the Moon.”  For some reason these words frightened me. 

     “Does that mean he is a spirit?” I asked.

     “No. No human is a spirit. But the White Man lets any kind of spirit into his heart and feeds it without asking what kind of spirit it is. Some have hair the color of the earth and some have hair the color of fire! Their men have hair on their faces.”  (These words also made me afraid, for some reason.) “They do not wear the strong skins of our brothers—the deer and the buffalo. Their bodies are bound up with weak skins like old corn leaves! They cover their whole body to keep their skin from burning in the sun. They wear tall heavy coverings on their feet and legs—like living snakes. The earth shakes when they walk. They send a fire of death through the air and into the hearts of animals and Indians!” 

   ***

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CHAPTERS 13-15

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